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Deviousness `anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
:drools over Razor:
*I'm just as bad.
The problem is there seem to be pages missing between this page and the last couple of pages - they all seem to know what's going on and being quite calm about it, but we don't know, and so don't really know why they're so calm. I'd say, if you want to keep us in the dark so now then that's fine, but if you do they should have more urgency, so that we feel urgency, and care about what we don't know. Otherwise it just feels like a hole...
Similarly - I assume the United Global Boy was the ninja-type character from before? If so, it feels a bit anti-climactic to explain that he's from United Global (whoever they are) and for that to be taken calmly... With a buildup like he got, it seems that he should lead into something dramatic.
Anyway, while this is pretty good as a page, I feel that it needs another page or so beforehand to orient us to what's going on, or else changed to keep our adrenalin pumping as fast as it was before.
Anyway, looking forward to the next installments!
Just curious - do you have a script written out already, or are you writing each page as you draw it?
I have always had a problem with plot and placing - my strengths are with settings description and character building as a writer. I'm trying lots of new ways to improve with this comic as I have the extra impetus of letting other people see it other than myself but I don't have much idea where this is going!
Another cultural difference may be that I'm British and I was thinking of the 'blitz spirit' shown by Londoners in WW2 and which seemed to reoccur the summer before last when our transport system was bombed when writing the characters. Although I know there were plenty of people panicking last year and probably some looting it was weird how defiant, unhurried and stoic we were. Being in London myself, I witnessed how strange it was for a long time afterwards. I think we still have an attitude of 'if you think that's the best you could do my grandma could do better' about us. Maybe it's a post-Empire thing.
The above makes it all sound really well planned but this is mostly instinct in the back of my head kind of thing put into words.
However, I think you have a good point and I am altering my next page as a result. If I get to a natural breaking point I may expand some sections and redraw others and will use the guidance I have recieved from you and others in doing so. It's bloody helpful.